From SoCal Sun to NorCal Soul: 45 Life Reflections of a Fearless Latina PART II

Hey there, and welcome back! In part one, I dug into some powerful lessons that have shaped my life and approach to the beautiful chaos we call existence. It’s all about those moments—both big and small—that teach us something new and help us grow. I find magic in every experience, and I hope these reflections resonated with you somehow. Life is full of surprises, and each twist and turn brings an opportunity to learn, adapt, and create. It has been the recipe to becoming a fearless Latina.

I'm thrilled to share even more insights that have impacted my consciousness in this second part. I’ll dive into embracing change, celebrating love, and recognizing those small wins that often go unnoticed. Each lesson is a reminder that we have the power to steer our own ships, connect deeply with others, and open our hearts to new adventures waiting just beyond the horizon. Whether you’re in a season of exploration or soaking in the sweetness of victories, there’s so much richness in every single experience.

…and if you're looking for the first 15 life reflections and lessons, click here.

16. Confidence is Born from Action, Not Patience

We often tell ourselves that we need to feel confident before we take that leap. We wait for the perfect moment, hoping that our courage will kick in out of nowhere. But here’s the reality: confidence is built through action, not waiting. It strengthens with every small victory, every risk you step into, and every challenge you decide to tackle. Waiting around for confidence? It’s a surefire way to remain stuck in place.

Reflecting on the times when I had to muster real bravery, I can’t think of a single instance where I felt ready before diving in. I felt nervous, uncertain, and full of self-doubt. Yet, as soon as I took that first step, something incredible happened. Confidence is what follows action—it’s proof that you’re capable, even when you don’t feel it yet. Each time you confront fear, you’re filling your confidence reservoir, enabling you to take on even bigger challenges down the line.

To nurture confidence, it’s crucial to take action, even when fear tries to hold you back. It’s not about being fearless; it’s about moving forward despite the fear. Each step you take will grow your confidence and empower you along the way. Stop waiting for the perfect moment and start tackling those fears head-on. Trust me—the confidence you crave awaits you just beyond that first courageous move.

Holy shit. If I had waited for the "right" time, I would have never done anything in my life. I applied to jobs even when I didn't meet all of the qualifications. I got comfortable with rejection early on, so no, became just not right now/maybe. I always found a way and if for whatever reason I didn't get it, I looked at it as redirection. 

17. Rest Fuels Productivity

For years, I mistakenly linked productivity to endless hustle and constant action. If I wasn’t busy doing something, I felt guilty, as if I was wasting precious time. However, I’ve discovered that rest is not the enemy of productivity; it’s a vital ally. Without adequate rest, your body and mind just can’t perform at their peak. Burnout doesn’t lead to better outcomes—it leads to exhaustion and inefficiency.

Rest is where creativity takes root. In those tranquil moments, your mind can wander freely, connecting ideas unexpectedly. Some of my brightest ideas hit me not when I was grinding away but while I was enjoying a leisurely walk, curled up with a book, or simply allowing myself to breathe. Rest resets your brain, equipping you with the clarity and energy you need to confront challenges effectively.

The real struggle lies in allowing yourself to rest without guilt. We live in a culture that glorifies busyness, but the most accomplished people recognize that rest is essential. It’s not just about working harder—it’s about working smarter. Smart working knows when to recharge and return with renewed vigor. So, remember, rest isn’t laziness; it’s a critical component of becoming your most productive, creative self.

My family and friends know that if I'm up before noon to meet you for coffee or something, I do really love you. Otherwise, my ass is staying in bed for as long as I possibly can. Also, they know not to call me after 9 pm, and I won't answer my phone on the weekends unless it's a family emergency. 

I'll sleep anywhere. I love naps. Coffee will never replace my sleep, and I will always find a way to get a minimum of seven hours a night. 

18. Your Cup Must Be Full to Pour

This is one of those truths that seems cliché until you truly grasp its significance. For ages, I prided myself on being everything to everyone—at work, in personal relationships, and within my community. Yet giving endlessly without refueling leads inevitably to burnout. You can’t offer your best to others if your own well is running dry.

Self-care isn’t just a trendy phrase; it’s essential for being your best self across all life’s arenas.
Prioritizing your needs isn’t selfish; it’s fundamental. When you devote time to nurturing your mental, emotional, and physical health, you elevate your ability to care for others. It’s like the airline safety rule: you must secure your oxygen mask before assisting someone else. If you’re running on fumes, you’ll eventually have nothing left to give, and you and those you care about will suffer.

What fills your cup varies for each of us. For some, it’s fitness or a creative outlet; for others, quiet time or connecting with loved ones. The key is to recognize when your cup is low and actively take the time to refill it. You can’t thrive as a partner, parent, friend, or professional when you’re constantly depleted. Take care of yourself first, and everything else will benefit in turn.

I need to rest. I need to see people. I need to go places. I need to go on lunch and dinner dates with my husband. I need to cuddle with my little doggo. I need to be creative every day. I need to move my body. I need to eat the way my body wants me to. And I need to be around plants, trees, and other greenery. 

Otherwise, I am miserable and not pleasant to be around. 

19. Success is a Personal Journey

There’s no universal definition of success, yet societal pressures often push us to measure our achievements against external standards. For some, success revolves around climbing the corporate ladder or earning a hefty paycheck. For others, it’s about freedom, creativity, or simply achieving a sense of peace and balance. The most liberating realization I’ve had is that success is deeply personal—and it’s up to you to define it on your terms.

When you stop chasing someone else’s vision of success, you unlock the door to true fulfillment. Ask yourself what makes you feel accomplished, joyful, or content. That’s your definition of success, and it could be entirely different from someone else’s. The beautiful aspect of this journey is that you’re free to redefine what success means to you at any stage of your life.

Success is not a finish line; it’s an ongoing journey. It’s about crafting a life that resonates with your values, passions, and dreams. It’s not merely checking boxes but feeling satisfied with the path you’re carving. So stop letting others dictate your version of success. Define it for yourself and pursue it with confidence.

When I stopped recording music, many folks came at me, telling me I needed to keep putting music out. My response to that was a cold stare. I had my own measures of success. I had completed my mission and moved on to something else. They didn't need to make sense to anyone but me. 

FYI, I never stopped making music. I just stopped composing music in THAT particular genre.

20. The Art of Apologizing

Apologizing can be daunting, especially when pride rears its head. However, one of the most crucial lessons I’ve learned is that a sincere apology is one of the most potent tools for healing and growth. It’s not just about saying the words—it's about genuinely acknowledging your missteps and making amends. A heartfelt apology requires vulnerability and demonstrates strength of character.

Apologies aren’t about winning; they’re about healing relationships and acknowledging accountability. A true apology goes beyond just saying “I’m sorry.” It involves recognizing the impact of your actions and committing to change. When delivered with sincerity, apologies pave the way for deeper connections and mutual understanding, helping us grow from our mistakes instead of being held back by them.

The capacity to apologize authentically also hinges on self-awareness. It demands that we recognize when our words or actions have hurt someone—even if unintentionally. It’s easy to fall into defensiveness, but real growth emerges when we let go of the urge to be right and choose kindness instead. Remember, apologizing doesn’t signify weakness; it reflects wisdom and maturity.

The best apology is changed behavior.

Conversely, don't wait for an apology that will never come. Waiting for the type of closure you need from someone who has moved on is closure. So stop torturing yourself and let go. Don't let anyone tell you twice that they don't like you, love you, want you, or care about you. 

Lastly, never apologize for existing.

21. Let Passion Fuel Your Life

Passion isn’t merely about what you love; the vibrant energy propels everything you do. When you’re fired up about something—a hobby, a project, or your job—that enthusiasm radiates to those around you. Passion pushes you forward, keeps you motivated, and turns the grind into an exhilarating journey. The spark breathes life into dreams and elevates ordinary moments into something remarkable.

As I’ve navigated through life, I’ve realized that passion can shift and evolve, and that’s perfectly okay. What ignited your fire years ago may not inspire you as intensely now, but that doesn’t imply you’ve lost your passion; it’s transformed. The essential part is staying connected to what ignites that spark within. When you align with your passions, life gains depth, making challenges more manageable.

Pursuing your passion isn’t always smooth sailing. It often involves sacrifices, setbacks, and moments of uncertainty. However, when you’re passionate, those obstacles become part of the adventure, driving you onward. Passion provides the persistence to push through challenging situations and the resilience to keep moving forward, even when the journey is unclear. It’s the dynamic energy that propels you toward becoming your best self.

Passion and energy work together. Yes, you can have passion, but if you're not willing to spend the energy towards it, it's probably not something you want to do anyway. You're the driver, and you get to decide where the car goes. 

I started wanting to become a chiropractor. I tagged along with a student at Life Chiropractic during my freshman year of high school. I ended up at NHI (National Holistic Institute) to get my foot in the door as a massage therapist. I interned at a chiropractor's office in Vacaville and had my mobile practice after graduation. 

Look where I'm at now. 

Exactly where I want to be. 

22. Choose to Embrace Change

Change is one of life’s few certainties, yet many of us resist it fervently. We tend to cling to what we know, even when it no longer serves us, out of fear of the unknown. Yet I’ve learned that resisting change only amplifies stress and anxiety. The more you resist, the more difficult it becomes to advance. Conversely, embracing change opens you up to new opportunities and personal growth.

Although it’s not typically easy, change often invites uncertainty and transformation. Every significant shift in my life—be it personal or professional—carried its challenges but also fostered growth that wouldn’t have occurred otherwise. The magic lies in viewing change not as a threat but as an opportunity. Change can become a powerful catalyst for progress when approached with curiosity rather than fear.

To embrace change, you also need to release the need for control. Life rarely unfolds according to our plans, and that’s perfectly fine. The more adaptable you are to life’s fluctuations, the more resilient and empowered you become. Change is not something to shun; it’s a vital component of growth and evolution.

Life is dynamic. Life is fluid. I am not the same person I was at 25, 35, or 45. We can't plan for every disaster. Sometimes, not knowing is the best — one step at a time, one foot in front of the other. Take the lessons with you. 

Dream.
Plan.
Execute.
Revise.
Repeat.

...and anything you pick up, you can put down. 

23. Love is a Commitment

We often view love as just a feeling—something intangible and abstract—but one of the most profound lessons I’ve learned is that love is fundamentally a verb. It’s not merely something you profess; it’s something you actively practice. Love manifests in small gestures, in the deliberate efforts you make in your relationships, and in the ways you listen and care for others. It’s simple to utter “I love you,” but the true power lies in expressing that love through your consistent actions.

Choosing love means being present, even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable. It’s about understanding another person's needs, even when they differ from yours. Love rarely resembles grand gestures or dramatic moments; it's present in everyday actions of kindness, patience, and support. It’s about being there in crucial moments and helping others feel valued, even amidst life’s chaos.

Importantly, love isn’t limited to romantic relationships; it extends to friendships, family, and even yourself. Practicing self-love means treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion you extend to others. It involves speaking gently to yourself, forgiving your own flaws, and dedicating time to nurture your own well-being. When you act on love daily, you discover that it’s a gift you can give yourself and all your relationships.

Love yourself first, always. You are in charge of your happiness. Don't rely on others to be your life's sole fountain of love, joy, and harmony. 

Also, if someone cannot consistently love you that way, you need to be loved; pack it up. Life is too fucking short for this mess. 

You deserve better.

24. Forgiveness is Liberation

Holding onto anger or resentment feels like self-defense, yet in truth, it only chains you to past pain. One of the most liberating insights I’ve gained is that forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing someone's actions; it’s about liberating yourself from the emotional burden accompanying unresolved anger. Forgiveness means opting for peace over bitterness, and the act is ultimately for your benefit.

Forgiving isn’t instantaneous; it often involves healing and reflection first. But when you’re ready, forgiveness can become one of the most empowering acts of self-care you can take. It doesn’t involve forgetting what occurred or permitting it to repeat; rather, it’s about releasing the emotional hold the past has on you. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, not the person who hurt you.

When you choose to forgive, you create space for renewal in your life. By shedding the weight of anger, you release exhaustion and regain emotional energy to invest in things that truly matter. Forgiveness lets you step away from the past, letting go of unresolved pain.

Whew. Therapy baby. Let someone else tell you about yourself. This is the reality check WE all need.

Forgive yourself for the decisions you made with the information you had at the time. 
Forgive others to help you heal and move forward. 

Release it and let the universe handle it.

25. You’re Always Capable of Learning

The myth persists that learning is reserved for the young, but nothing could be more untrue. One of life’s greatest joys is that the opportunity for growth never ceases. Whether it’s acquiring a new skill, exploring fresh subjects, or simply learning more about who you are, there’s always something new to uncover, regardless of age. The moment you stop learning is the moment you start stagnating, and there’s always more to discover.

Throughout my 45 years, I’ve found that my most exhilarating and rewarding experiences often arise when I willingly adopt a student's mindset. Embracing the fact that you don’t know everything—which is utterly liberating—keeps life fresh and your mind sharp. Staying curious and open to new ideas, whether for career growth, personal development, or just plain enjoyment, keeps you engaged with life’s wonders.

Learning takes many forms, including formal education, but often, the most significant insights come from experiences, the people we encounter, and life’s challenges. Stay inquisitive, and don’t shy away from starting anew. At any age, there’s always space for personal growth; with each new lesson, you evolve closer to becoming the person you are destined to be.

Dude. 

I'm literally taking vocal lessons right now. Not because I'm trying to be the next Chappell-XCX-Carpenter-Swift-Dua type. I just want to be able to belt out tunes at karoake and have better breath control while speaking publicly. 

I like the learn as you go approach instead of learning everything all at once. Otherwise you can become easily overwhelmed. Learn, implement, test, and keep going.

26. Choose Your Battles Wisely

It’s all too easy to feel the need to tackle every issue or dispute, especially when you deeply care about fairness and harmony. However, one of the most challenging lessons I’ve learned is that not every battle is worth fighting. Some conflicts don’t require your input; sometimes, stepping away is the best choice for your personal peace. Finding the balance between when to engage and withdraw is a skill that develops over time.

There’s immense strength in deciding which struggles deserve your energy. Involving yourself in every dispute can drain you on emotional, mental, and even physical levels. You don’t have to solve every dilemma or engage in every conversation. The wisest choice is often to take a step back and let situations unfold independently. Protecting your peace sometimes means determining which battles merit a fight.

Walking away from unnecessary conflicts doesn’t reflect weakness; it demonstrates that you’re strategic with your energy and time. Recognizing that some issues lie beyond your control and acknowledging that your well-being matters more than winning points can be liberating. The tranquility from sidestepping the wrong battles is far more rewarding than the temporary satisfaction from debating them.

I'm not arguing with your dumb ass. No, I'm really not going to. I won't match your energy, I'll just remove myself from the situation. I have better things to do than waste time on foolishness and tomfoolery. 

I suggest you start being more strategic with your time and energy. 

It will remove most of the drama and problems in your life. 

27. Open Yourself to New Adventures

Adventure doesn’t always equate to grand escapades like climbing mountains or traveling globally. Adventure is more about stretching beyond your comfort zone and embracing new experiences that excite or challenge you. Over the years, I’ve understood that life is meant to be fully lived, which entails welcoming opportunities for adventure, whether large or small.

Saying yes to adventure often means taking calculated risks—trying uncertain activities, meeting fresh faces, or visiting new destinations. It’s through these moments of uncertainty that profound growth occurs. Every adventure, even those that seem to go awry, imparts lessons about yourself and the world surrounding you. Living with curiosity and an openness to life’s offerings is what makes existence exciting.

Importantly, adventure exists not only in grand gestures but also within everyday moments. It’s trying out a new hobby, saying yes to spontaneous outings, or simply changing up your routine to keep life engaging. Adventure invites joy, excitement, and wonder into your life, so embrace it more often. Countless opportunities are awaiting you—just be ready to leap into them.

As a Francophile, my first European trip started with something other than France. It was Germany and the Netherlands. I learned all the German I needed on the way there and then kept practicing each day when I'd go out exploring. The Dutch always spoke to me in English, so that kinda worked out. 

28. Master the Art of Saying No

For a significant portion of my life, saying no felt like an insurmountable challenge. I feared that denying requests would disappoint others, cost me opportunities, or make me seem ungrateful. However, through maturity, I’ve realized that “no” is an extremely empowering term, one that comes not with guilt, but with the liberation of boundary-setting. Saying no means you’re valuing your energy and time, and it’s something to embrace, not regret.

Learning to say no is a practice in self-respect and preservation. It’s about understanding that you don’t have to be everything to everyone. When you say yes to every single thing, you often say no to yourself. By declining engagements that don’t resonate with your values or goals, you can focus on what genuinely matters, emphasizing quality over quantity in every area of your life.

The moment you recognize that your worth isn't tied to how much you can give, the guilt of saying no dissipates. Refusing offers doesn’t signify selfishness; it denotes intentionality. It enables you to dedicate your best effort to the priorities and people who genuinely deserve it, without feeling spread too thin. So give yourself the freedom to say no; you’ll feel more empowered and liberated for it.

I rarely say yes now to things that deplete my time, energy or encroach on my space. 

I learned that a yes to something or someone else is a no to me and what I want. 

If it's uncomfortable for someone else, they will learn to adjust.

29. Grieving is a Nonlinear Process

Grief has an uncanny knack for sneaking up on you when you least expect it. It doesn’t follow a conventional timeline or move in a straight path. I've learned that grief is messy, often unpredictable, and deeply personal. There’s no “right” way to grieve or a specific timeline dictating when you should be “over it.” Grief doesn’t cease; it evolves, and learning to coexist with it is essential to the journey.

In my experience, grief has ebbed and flowed. Just when I think I’ve navigated through the worst of it, it can be triggered by a memory, a song, or an unexpected moment. Yet that’s the beauty of grief—it’s not about conquering it; it’s about learning to carry it. And that’s perfectly okay. It doesn’t imply weakness or being stuck; it signifies that you loved deeply, and the absence of that love will always have a place in your heart.
The key to navigating grief lies in granting yourself grace. There’s no singular path of progression; each person’s journey is uniquely theirs. Some days will be more challenging than others, and that’s completely acceptable.

Allow yourself to experience whatever emotions arise without judgment. Grief is part of being human, and although it’s one of life’s most challenging experiences, it also teaches resilience, compassion, and the capacity of your heart.

Do not allow anyone to tell you how to grieve and for how long. Everyone is different. I'm still grieving and my Dad has been gone for 10 years now. Some days are better than others. I nor anyone else can rush this process. It just is. 

30. Honor Small Victories

It’s easy to overlook minor victories when the world constantly urges us to achieve bigger and better things. However, I’ve come to appreciate that celebrating small wins is just as crucial—if not more so—than recognizing monumental milestones. Life isn’t sustained solely by grand achievements; it thrives on the little steps, daily progress, and quiet victories that often go unnoticed.

Celebrating small wins helps maintain motivation and shifts focus from perfection to progress. It’s easy to feel disheartened when only fixating on how far you still have to go. But by acknowledging the small victories along the way, you begin to see how much you’ve achieved thus far. Whether checking off a task on your to-do list, reaching a fitness goal, or simply surviving a challenging day, each win is valuable.

Taking a moment to celebrate, even if it’s something as simple as treating yourself to your favorite coffee or reflecting on your progress, reinforces habits of gratitude and appreciation. This practice shifts your mindset from scarcity to abundance, emphasizing that success is found in the grand gestures and the journey itself. So, honor your small wins. They’re foundational to the larger picture and warrant recognition.

The sign at my doctor's office reads: Count your Blessings. Recounts are OK. 

Conclusion

As I conclude these next 15 reflections, I find myself in awe of how profoundly each lesson has transformed my perception of both myself and the world surrounding me. I’ve come to realize that genuine confidence arises from seizing action—no more lingering in indecision. I've also begun to appreciate rest as an essential aspect of productivity, highlighting the importance of progress over perfection. It’s become crystal clear that I need to be purposeful about where I channel my time and energy. Although life doesn’t come with a user manual, these experiences have acted as my personal compass, affirming that self-care is indispensable, boundaries are imperative, and embracing vulnerability showcases strength rather than weakness.

This upcoming segment beckons us to question conventional notions of success, ponder fresh perspectives, and make peace with life's unpredictable twists. Each insight has demanded time and resilience to cultivate, and I’m genuinely thrilled to share these with you. There’s a treasure trove of wisdom nestled within every lesson, reminding us that life is a continuous evolution, not just a destination. The concluding set of reflections might just ignite the inspiration you seek to illuminate your own journey in an exciting new way.

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